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The 20-Something Starter Pack

February 24, 2015

 

 

Remember when you were little and would imagine what it would be like when you were older? I mean I used to wonder what I would look like in college, was I going to have long hair, would I end up being the hoop star I thought I'd be (only to find out I'd never grow past third grade)? All I knew is that I'd probably have it all figured out. 

 

Welp here I am at 23 and I'm still trying to get it altogether.

 

2014 was a year to start over. In this past year, I've graduated college, moved away from my hometown for the first time in my life, accepted my first salaried job and ended my first serious relationship. I’ve found myself in a new city not only full of new opportunities but completely out of my comfort zone. 

 

Here is what I have learned on my 365-day journey...

 

 

 

 

  • "PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU SAID, PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU DID, BUT PEOPLE WILL NEVER FORGET HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL"

Working in the sports industry I have been fortunate to be around (around equals one in a crowd of hundreds) some prominent sports figures. The people that I have remained admiring are the ones that don't make me feel like the little rookie that I am.

 

Enter Mack Brown, former Head Football Coach at Texas. 

 

Coach Brown was going to be at an event I was helping with last season. Before the luncheon began I was taking pictures for social media when I heard someone call my name. Low and behold it was Coach Brown. Minutes before I had briefly introduced myself and assumed he'd been so preoccupied he'd forget it ever happened. However, here he was asking me if I didn't mind taking a quick picture for his twitter. 

 

After spending a good amount of time talking with me, I thanked him for his time and for being so genuine. He said that before he took his job at Texas, the best advice he'd received was this quote. 

 

Even though it was such a brief encounter I'll always remember the way that Coach Brown made me feel so encouraged. 

 

At the end of your life the only thing that will matter is how you treated people. To me this one of life's greatest truths, it is what creates our legacy. 

 

  • "IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU BRING TO THE TABLE, YOU WON'T MIND EATING ALONE" 

 

This applies to everyone, whether you are in a relationship or not. Since my first boyfriend in fourth grade (Still l-u-v you Tim Gleeson) my dad has always instilled in my sister and I is that before we find ourselves wanting to get married we need to be established individuals. I didn't really realize the meaning of this until I moved to Dallas.

 

I used to just think this meant having a job or knowing how to file taxes (still don't know that) but now I see that this also means knowing myself. Who is Tay?

 

My parents have been married for over 25 years and the one thing my mom is constantly telling me is that first and foremost they are their own individuals. Yes, we tease my dad that my mom is his "better half" but my dad was never incomplete. He and my mom were already "whole" when they got married. 

 

They simply compliment each other's lives. 

 

I feel like right now I'm under renovation to become this complete individual. I strive to be a better person individually everyday whether that means focusing more at work, having a better workout, building my relationship with God or starting a new book. Working on becoming a stronger individual can help every relationship that you have. 

 

  • "NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU, AND THAT'S OKAY"

 

To be honest I used to that one hardcore people-pleaser, we all know. You know the signs: I felt one way about a situation but would say otherwise because I didn't want to rock the boat. I would over-apologize and compromise my own personal beliefs. Except crocs I always spoke up about my feelings on crocs. 

 

 And despite all of my efforts to be liked by everyone, many people didn't or they didn't respect me for not standing by my own views. 

 

We all have a natural desire to be well-liked. Who doesn’t want to feel accepted, respected, and appreciated?

 

For most of my life, my need to be liked overshadowed all my other needs. I was always trying to manipulate perception, adapting myself to receive validation. It was draining and counterproductive, since very few people actually knew me—the real me—which is a prerequisite to liking me.

 

I’ve since learned it’s actually a good sign if there are some people who don’t accept or agree with me. I’m not suggesting we should be rude, inconsiderate, or disrespectful. I'm just saying it is better to have your authentic self accepted instead of the shell that we display on the outside. 

 

My sister is such a role model to me in this aspect because she was the girl in high school that stood out because she was just that, herself. 

 

And a good jam session to "Shake it Off" is always a big help. Even Kim K. would admit it, if Kanye let her. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Random Tips:

  • You'd be surprised what turning off your phone for an afternoon can do for your well-being 

  • Don't date just for the sake of dating

  • Social media image is EVERYTHING, don't say anything that you wouldn't say in a public press conference. You are basically speaking into a microphone 24/7

  • Good music can literally change your mood & a solid Spotify playlist will make you look forward to car rides

  • If you don't know, ask 

  • Red wine is the answer 

  • Buying healthy is actually cheaper than eating at Taco Bell everyday

  • It is truly a good thing that you don't get every job you apply for

  • Trust your gut, but also talking about it until it is exhausted can help too

  • If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room

  • It really didn't matter what you majored in

  • Keep up with current events, subscribe to an app and your conversations will benefit because of it 

  • True networking is keeping in touch with contacts even when you don't need something from them 

  • Sprinkles cupcake ice cream is worth the calories

  • Try to remember people's names when you meet them, it is so impressive to me when people call me by my name after just meeting them

  • Don't play mind games with guys & if they play it with you than move on

  • Dry shampoo is an actual life saver, but I already knew that

 

Figuring it all out can be tricky. I didn't know what was going to happen on my new adventure to Dallas but it all turned out better than I could have expected!

 

Cheers, 

Tay

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